Follow Your Dreams

11:15 AM

Have you ever seen into the future? Okay, it's not the kind of question I normally ask any and every body, but let me explain my self.

Between the ages of, oh say.. 13 and, well now, I've had dreams. I don't mean the MLK Jr kind of dreams, the kind of dreams that seem so real that you can't tell the difference between them and reality. The strange thing about those dreams, well, they've come true.

There was the time the family was suppose to be going to Miami for the summer vacation. A couple months before, I had a dream about visiting a friend in NY. At the time I had only one friend in NY. I didn't think much of the dream because we were going to Miami. Now you know in dreams, once you wake up you forget the dream, well these dreams stick and every single detail is remembered. Anyway, summer came and at the last moment our plans changed and guess where we were going. Yesiree, NYC. Then we were visiting my friend, what blew my mind was every single thing was like my dream and I never been to her place before. This was like being bitchslapped by deja vu.

Okay, so maybe this was a one off thing, a fluke. Nope, I saw the streets near where I lived in Italy, I saw my apartment in Brooklyn, and there were moments so finite and small that I never even took notice of them.

I'm writing all of this because it is associated with a couple mistakes I made in Italy, nah, they weren't bad, OH MY GOD, what did I do mistakes. More like I just wish I didn't make them mistakes. I guess it's the lessons I should be valuing instead of lamenting about the mistakes.

While I was in college in NYC, I had this dream where I was on the back of a motorcycle or something and this guy and I were speeding through these small streets and somehow it felt like something out of X-men, but the rush was incredible and I was so excited. Well, it was my favourite dream at the time. Later that year, I went to Italy for a study abroad program and they assisted us in finding housing. I had gone and looked at an apartment and it was so cute and I could see myself there. I walked back from viewing it smiling. The next day another girl from the program mentioned that she was interested in it, (here's mistake #1)with that said I figured she was going to get it. In the end she didn't. Then I was asked by a friend of a friend to share a place (mistake #2). The thing is the person wasn't a bad person, it's just by making those two mistakes, I didn't fulfill my dream and it left me bitter and, I will admit it, a bitch. A couple of weeks later I was walking to the other section of the campus and it was the same way to the apartment. It was the same streets as my dream.

In the end I didn't fulfill my dream and I went against my chracter as a person who lives on their own. I tried to do the right things by others and ended up suffering in the end. Yes, you can put others before yourself, but not to your detriment. On that stay in Italy, I went against my dreams, and although I did have some good memories of my study abroad it could have been a whole lot better.

In the end, I will be heeding the dreams that come in technicolour. Some of them are warnings. I will also be deciding the direction I go in my life. Life is a wonderous thing and some things we won't understand completely, but do we really need to understand it? I guess that is where having faith comes in.

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