Friendship

8:15 AM



I haven't done a random rant or posted random thoughts in a while. Actually, for the last month and a half, I've been suffering from a cold that won't quit. Then yesterday evening a bee stung me on the wrist of my left hand and now it's swollen and itches. The thing is I can't scratch the itch because it makes the swelling spread T_T

Anyway this post is not about my maladies, it's about friendship. The other day I was listening to World Have Your Say on the BBC World Service and they broached the topic, Do we have real friends anymore? It got me thinking about my life and modern life in general.

I'll be honest, I think I got burned young in the realm of friendship so I am very cautious about who I am associated with or acquainted with. That in the end has been detrimental in my life now because some of my dear friends live in other countries and I haven't put myself out there to make friends. I think it is also a matter of getting old. I think of a person as an onion with many layers and each layer represents life experiences. Unfortunately, some life experiences have a negative impact on a person twisting their outlook on a topic. The funny thing about being human is if you believe in something, it becomes real for you. In terms of friendships, if the people you had been friends with have an agenda or negative or not truly a good friend, you probably believe all people are like that and are unable to new friendships because this is what you believe.

Somehow I would like to degenerate back to childhood when the only reason you wanted to be friends with someone was because they seem like fun. Throw away the whole we have the same interests, we are intellectually on the same level BS. Can I meet someone who has no problem throwing on a bathing suit and a towel in a bag and going to the beach. Then again, I would like to be able to just chill with someone, go by their place or they come by mine and we could watch movies or just talk for talking sake.

The unfortunate thing is sometimes when I think of approaching someone for friendship it feels like I'm approaching them out of romantic interests. There is also that whole need to be part of a couple and sometimes that takes one away from making and developing new friendships. Life has become so complicated that you would have to sacrifice friendships for career goals, romantic goals and personal goals. The thing is I know how important friendships are, but the question is how to find friends?

Then there is FaceBook. A couple months after I was an official member of the FaceBook community (if FaceBook was a country, it would be the 3rd largest, right after China and India), I had a whole bunch of "friends". The thing is the damn "friends" kept playing FarmVille or Mafia Wars, so when I went to my News Feeds, it was all these status reports related to the games. So I deleted a whole bunch of people, to be honest they were not genuinely my friends, some of them I really could care less about. Oh you know, the classmates from high school or college that you were not really close to, the friend of a friend that you vaguely remember. Oh, and don't talk about the random person who is a friend of a real friend and you are too chicken to ignore the request.

I actually ignored two requests this week, it dawned on me that I didn't know one of the people and the other I haven't seen in over ten years and she's my sister's friend, not mine. I'm definitely going to do some weeding of my friends list and utilise the Hide option for the other set I'm too chicken to delete. I've already cut back on my FaceBook time. It's a great tool for keeping up with friends and family but one can get carried away.

Okay, I got carried away. What is my consensus on friendship? I am so appreciative of the friends I have although they are far away. I am also appreciative of the fact that I can call the members of my family friends, but it would be nice to have one or two more buddies who I can point to and say wholeheartedly "This is my friend." As a line in an Erykah Badu song goes,

See I picks my friends like I pick my fruit
& Ganny told me that when I was only a youth
I don't go 'round trying to be what I'm not
I don't waste my time trying ta get what you got
I work at pleasin' me cause I can't please you
and that's why I do what I do
My soul flies free like a willow tree
doo wee doo wee do wee

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