Independent woman

8:13 PM

Today I got my daily newsletter from essence.com, and I was looking through their site, I come across this article, What Type Are You?. Basically, it's asking you what kind of woman are you with examples of Black TV sitcom characters. Even though I saw bits of me in many of the characters, e.g. a lover of love like Joan in Girlfriends or the ball-buster-man-eater like Maxine in Living Singles, the person whose description fit me most was Kimberly Reese from A Different World.

I am Miss Independent. And it's true I can do so much for myself, I don't need anyone to take care of me on a material level. And still I need someone to look out for me, someone who will be there when I need a shoulder to cry on. Funny thing is I had downloaded a bunch of songs by Jill Scott and I came across this song, The Fact Is (I Need You). It speaks so many truths about me, I can do all these things, but I need you.

I just moved on from an unhealthy situation, and today was the actual day that I let go of it. I'm not looking back, and I'm going to try to avoid men like that individual because I want more. I now claim my title as queen, and I want the real thing. It's funny how I end up with men who have girlfriends. Do I have a sign on my head which reads "Ideal for cheating on your girlfriend!"

Anyway, I drifted a little bit, but the idea is clear. I love me, I want a man who loves me, too or at least will eventually. The last couple weeks were tumultuous, whereas I was on a plateau of happiness and being at peace and it scared me to my core. To me it was like what Christians experience and I am not a Christian. I ended up running to something that caused me grief. Between last night and this morning I let go of the grief and I chose to be happy and at peace, even if it scares me.

One life, live it

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