What The Hell

8:19 AM

So, OG is kind of in my life again, not for long though, I don't plan to have him here for much long. Partly because he is not available and partly because I feel I'm using him. It's just sometimes a person has a desire to be wanted and all that jazz.

Anyway the purpose of this post was about an article I just read on Essence.com about single, black women adopting and it got me to thinking. For one, what is going on? I'm not discrediting a woman's desire to adopt a child on her own, but what has happened to the concept of the nuclear family of mom, dad and child? It's almost like life saying you can't have everything, you can't have the job, the great home, friends, husband, family. Something has to be sacrificed. One comment to the article was this

Yes i would absolutely consider adopting a child. I"m almost 35 and still single so i know if i'm still single by the time i'm 40yrs old i'll probably adopt.
As well as this comment
I would most certainly adopt a baby. I am a single 33 year old professional female and I am like Tee (responder from above), if I do not have any children and/or I am not married by time I am 40, then I will definitely adopt.

It's honestly making me ask the question, is our careers getting in the way of finding someone? I just realized that I've been pushing away prospects with excuses related to work. Be it my day job or my side projects. I've always hid behind my work, but if I really want to find that special person, I'm going to have step way out of my comfort zone. I think there is no better time than now to do it, but I am going to do it on my terms, I want to be friends first, then lovers.

At this point, I'm not sure where OG fits in. I'm going to have to sit down with him and talk through a few things. If he was available, he would be an option for the future but I don't think it is my place to say "Hey, I like you alot and I think you like me and I would like to see if this thing we have could grow into something serious." Then again I'm going to be residing outside of my comfort zone so what do I have to lose. If anything this will freak him out and drive him away, and I won't have to dread becoming undone when he texts me out of the blue.

While emailing my friend in NYC, I realized that I've been making or perceiving this whole love thing as complicated. It is my intention not to complicate it, over analyse it and have fun. Return it to the simple girl meets boy, they like each other and live happily ever after.

That's it for now.

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