Lesson's Worth Learning

5:34 PM

I don't know about the rest of you, but as soon as I traversed the threshold of 30, my status became everybody's issue.

"What? You single? You don't have a boyfriend/man?"

"Do you have kids? What are you waiting for?"

"You know the longer you wait, the harder it will be."

Did I ask for their oppinion? Hell no! And it's not like I was lamenting about my "condition". Someone ask me a question, and I would answer honestly, let's just say I've learned my lesson.

You see over the years since I returned on this little island, I've tried to please everyone. Tried to be what I thought men wanted in a girlfriend, and to say I got burnt is an understatement. In fact, you can say, I was pretty much well done, cooked through and through.

The sad thing is when you try to please everyone, you end up losing yourself. You don't even recognize yourself and end up hating yourself. Over the end of the year, I did something that created my wake up call. I gave in, I stopped believing that life could be whatever I made it and let life give me whatever it wanted.

Have you ever had a numb, empty feeling, that is how it felt. Yeah I was responding like the other half of a relationship but I felt so dead, so repulsed, so used. My flight instinct set in and I quickly and efficiently slipped out. Okay, I didn't answer his calls, I know bitch move, but I'm no good at turning to someone and saying
"Dude, I'm not into you, in fact I can't stand you. Having a conversation with you is as stimulating as paint drying. Honestly speaking, this is definitely a case of 'It's you, not me'."
I'm still working on how to reject men politely and letting them that there is no way I will go out with them.

I must say that over the last couple years, I learned a lot of lessons, but strangely enough, it has only been in the last few months that I learned lessons that I wished I came across say 4-5 years ago. I guess it's because I've decided to live a fuller life.

Below is a lesson I should have gotten while I was still in diapers

It's so easy to be with someone, but why waste my time and energy on someone who doesn't want to put the same amount of time and energy on me. Basically my take on this is,
Life is too short and my time is to precious to be wasted on people who aren't deserving of all I have to give.

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