Thank You, But No Thank You

11:21 AM


For the first time in thirty five years being on this rock hurtling through space, I tried marijuana and I have one thing to say,

Thank You, But No Thank You.

Now there are many reasons why I've never tried Mary Jane, including effective drug use prevention advertisements and that little thing where I can't inhale. In the past, I've tried cigarettes and cigars and I just can't voluntarily inhale smoke. As this is the case, I've tried ingesting the weed, I've eaten:

  • A Marijuana sugarcake - Made me sleepy. I must say I slept well that night;
  • A Marijuana lollipop - God, it tasted so bad that I could take only so much and I felt nothing.

Then over the weekend, I had Marijuana in cake. As one friend said, it doesn't appear as though it's working until bam, you are high, and trust me, she wasn't whistling Dixie. I think I had 4-5 1 1/2" X 1" cakes and it doesn't help my situation that I was drinking. Ladies and gentlemen, I was shitfaced and I don't want to ever be like that again. My symptoms that night were:

  • Major cotton mouth;
  • Hyper-awareness - it killed the chatter in my head and left my only perceiving things as they are;
  • Slow motor skills - although I was hyper-aware, I was sluggish;
  • A listing to the right - I would be walking and I would veer to the right;

Now the above may not all be attributed to the Mary Jane alone but it was a trip traveling home. I can understand why people take it like one would drink wine, but I didn't like losing control. I appreciated the hyper awareness because now I know what it looks like so I can work to get back to that place without drugs, but I like to be able to defend myself, to react quickly and that is impossible while under the influence.

I also noticed that it brought out a base emotion. I noticed that I became anxious, I was anxious while my sister was driving, I was anxious about how I behaved at the get together, I was anxious about how people perceived me. I was uber anxious and that continued into the next day while at work. I had to calm my anxieties and remind myself to let go of decade old regrets. The drug brought forth my most primal emotion and proved that although I layered on positive points of view, the negative roots are still there and can escape through a crack.

My first hallucinogenic experience was a double edge sword, I learned from it and still it was not all fun experiencing it. Would I try it again? No, it just isn't my cup of tea. I would rather read a good book, hang out with cool people, take in a great view or watch a movie than get high. Would I tell others not to try it? No, I think people should experience it so that they can have their own view point on it. I know it would be hard for me to do, but I would have my child try it in my presence so that they go through it in a safe environment. Then when they are proper wasted, I would make the experience awful (muhahaha).

 Now a day and a half removed from the experience, I can definitively say, "Thank you, but no thank you." If that is the alleged gateway drug, I won't be indulging in any drugs in the future thus making me even more of a prude. Ain't no thang, I'm a prude till I die.


Image Credit: ImageBack

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