For the first time in thirty five years being on this rock hurtling through space, I tried marijuana and I have one thing to say,


Now there are many reasons why I've never tried Mary Jane, including effective drug use prevention advertisements and that little thing where I can't inhale. In the past, I've tried cigarettes and cigars and I just can't voluntarily inhale smoke. As this is the case, I've tried ingesting the weed, I've eaten:

• A Marijuana sugarcake - Made me sleepy. I must say I slept well that night;
• A Marijuana lollipop - God, it tasted so bad that I could take only so much and I felt nothing.

Then over the weekend, I had Marijuana in cake. As one friend said, it doesn't appear as though it's working until bam, you are high, and trust me, she wasn't whistling Dixie. I think I had 4-5 1 1/2" X 1" cakes and it doesn't help my situation that I was drinking. Ladies and gentlemen, I was shitfaced and I don't want to ever be like that again. My symptoms that night were:

• Major cotton mouth;
• Hyper-awareness - it killed the chatter in my head and left my only perceiving things as they are;
• Slow motor skills - although I was hyper-aware, I was sluggish;
• A listing to the right - I would be walking and I would veer to the right;

Now the above may not all be attributed to the Mary Jane alone but it was a trip traveling home. I can understand why people take it like one would drink wine, but I didn't like losing control. I appreciated the hyper awareness because now I know what it looks like so I can work to get back to that place without drugs, but I like to be able to defend myself, to react quickly and that is impossible while under the influence.

I also noticed that it brought out a base emotion. I noticed that I became anxious, I was anxious while my sister was driving, I was anxious about how I behaved at the get together, I was anxious about how people perceived me. I was uber anxious and that continued into the next day while at work. I had to calm my anxieties and remind myself to let go of decade old regrets. The drug brought forth my most primal emotion and proved that although I layered on positive points of view, the negative roots are still there and can escape through a crack.

My first hallucinogenic experience was a double edge sword, I learned from it and still it was not all fun experiencing it. Would I try it again? No, it just isn't my cup of tea. I would rather read a good book, hang out with cool people, take in a great view or watch a movie than get high. Would I tell others not to try it? No, I think people should experience it so that they can have their own view point on it. I know it would be hard for me to do, but I would have my child try it in my presence so that they go through it in a safe environment. Then when they are proper wasted, I would make the experience awful (muhahaha).

 Now a day and a half removed from the experience, I can definitively say, "Thank you, but no thank you." If that is the alleged gateway drug, I won't be indulging in any drugs in the future thus making me even more of a prude. Ain't no thang, I'm a prude till I die.


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