Friends and the Loner

11:58 AM

Lone in Dune - Sand Dunes, Stovepipe Wells, Death Valley National Park
Originally uploaded by Raj Hanchanahal

Ladies and gentlemen, I have no choice but to admit it. I am a loner. I doubt it was my choice, now I look at it, it was a culmination of life experiences that turned me down this road of solitude. When I look back at my youth, I see some defining moments. For example, not being accepted by a certain group of girls or being rejected by someone who I was best friends with (that one was the kicker). From then on I've always kept people at a distance because, I believe, they will either hurt or betray me. It didn't hurt that my fondest memory of Kindergarten was when the rest of the class went somewhere and I was in the classroom working on a house made of match stick boxes. Basically, it's a form of self training, we do the things we like and makes us feel good. I felt good on my own rather than with my class mates, so naturally I gravitated to that.

According to, a loner is:
someone who doesn't need other people around them to validate there own existence.

There are more definitions, but I like this one, to check them out, check out

Now don't get me wrong, I don't loathe the company of others, I just don't crave it 24/7. In fact I can name a few people who I consider friends (and I don't mean FaceBook friends). What I enjoy is eating out with friends, going to movies with friends, lounging around and talking and of course partying with friends (when I say party, I mean dancing the night away.)

Now here is where I'm conflicted, I enjoy the all of the above but I love my alone time. I believe what I'm looking for is a middle ground where I can up and go to a movie on my own and I can call up a friend and talk for a couple hours or plan to do something. I like the idea that we could go and do our separate things and come together every now and then to catch up with each other even if it is every week or every month.

That's why I like blogging, it gives me a chance to thrash out new ideas. Now it's to figure out how to meet some local friends and find the balance.

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