Male Appreciation #6

3:41 PM

Honestly speaking, I'm drawing a blank as to what this Male Appreciation should be, it's such a problem that I'm actually writing this on Thursday instead of Wednesday. I must say I've been playing around with a concept and although it's not one particular aspect of men, I feel like writing about it.

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So here we are, a bunch of single women, and we're asking where are all the good men, but then again what is a good man? I liken it to food, what would you think a good pizza would be like, or a good bottle of wine, the perfect chocolate cake (I mean the kind that doesn't overwhelm you with chocolate but reminds you of how luxurious the experience of eating said chocolate is). All of these are dependent on the individual, but also comes down to the question if the individual knows the difference between superficial qualities and real solid qualities.

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Do we as women, or can we as women accept that a man with a hot body, cute face, six figure salary, two houses and an expensive car may not know how to treat a woman right. He might be able to catch your attention but would he keep it. Don't even get me started on men who know they have it going on and want to play at the game a little (10-15 years) while before they settle down. Plus even if the above-mentioned guy does have a heart of gold, why would he want to be you if you are not complimenting him well? Also, some of the qualities some women want in a significant other can only be found in a gay man, and that only opens them up to heart break.

Now I'm about to get new-age-y here, I apologize in advance. I kinda believe in the whole soul mate thing, but I believe that we have more than one and sometimes it's not regulated to romantic love. It could be a really good friend that just syncs with you well. I say this because throughout our lifetimes, we see so many examples of what love is suppose to be. Between novels, movies, music, commercials selling something, examples in our immediate societies. From birth we are constantly fed these ideas, and some of them are pretty twisted (in the case of abusive relationships), but do we ever stop and ask ourselves who do we, as individuals, need in our lives and what kind of relationship do we need.

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Me, personally, I think I need someone who is easy going, yet adventurous, has a great sense of humour and is supportive. I need the easy going personality because I can be high strung and it would not work for both of us to be high strung, especially in arguments. I need him to be adventurous because it will help pull me away from being a workaholic, as well as they would be up to it when ever I decide it would be fun to go climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. Having a great sense of humour just adds to the quality of life, I read somewhere that laughing for 15 minutes is equal to 2 hours of sleep. Plus I'm reminded of my grandma and her husband, they still make each other laugh. I see myself as a person who will be there for others, I have no problem lending an ear and the like, it's just when I need an ear, I would like someone that gets me and is willing to either give me a solution or just listen. Also may I add, I need someone I can have conversations with, my family are talkers and we can talk about anything and everything and I get a bit testy when I'm with someone and they can't maintain a conversation.

Now do those things make a man a good man? Well it is the starting point, but some non-negotiable points are
  • Being respectful in general;
  • Knows the basic rules of etiquette (no honey, I'm not going to go all bougie on you if you use the wrong fork, but I will be pissed if you belch in my face while scratching yourself);
  • Knows no means no;
  • Does not think I my soul perhaps is to cook his food and birth his babies;
  • Knows never to raise his hand against a woman;
  • Is financially independent. This might sound a bit on the gold digger side, but I am willing to help a person out if they are down for a short while, but I'm not supporting them on a long term basis;
  • Loves me;
 The last point should be obvious, but I think there are men out there that could be with a woman and not genuinely love her. Because he doesn't love her, he would have no problem disrespecting her and as you can see respect is the first point.

I'm rambling.

Anyway, to the good men out there, I appreciate you. And whenever I come across you, please identify yourself, I'll give you a big ole hug.

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