Why Am I Single #9

5:30 PM

Answer #9: I don't need a man


Let me first say that that statement is wrong, words are power and they can affect your life. That statement is said over and over by women more to empower themselves as opposed to bring down or insult men. The problem is when we say it so much it becomes our reality. Yes, I'm spouting new age-y stuff, but it's the truth.

So far, I have done so much for myself which would have been things women would have turned to men for. I've changed the ceiling light fixture in my living room. I've changed the fill valve in my toilet. I've disposed of a dead frog with maggots on it (hyperventilating a little now). I've disposed of a recently dead mouse. On and on and on. So after doing all that, why would I need a man? would be a very fair question. Well Jill Scott answers that question very well here



Need I say more?

You see there was this guy that just gelled with me, but now looking back at it now (damn 20/20 hindsight) I kept pushing him away. I got mugged and I didn't tell him, I just glossed over it and I could hear in his voice that he would have wanted to hear about it, be there for me. After reading all these post you can see that I'm a little behind on things (book smart, street dumb).

Honestly speaking this post was inspired by this post I came across by Evan Marc Katz. The post was a response to an email from a woman who wanted to know if a smart, strong, successful woman can get a smart, strong, successful man. After reading this, I've come to the conclusion that the answer is no, that was when it really sank in. I've heard it so many times, in so many ways and only now do I get it.

There can only be one Alpha in a relationship. To be a successful person, you have to be an Alpha, for the most part anyway. And when you look at it in relationships you need to be with someone who compliments you and not be exactly like you. You know the whole yin and yang thing.

So the question I have for myself is

Do I want to be an Alpha or a Beta in a relationship?

Honestly speaking, no, I don't want to be an Alpha.

I'm tired of being the strong one, the shoulder to cry on, the person people ask for advice or ...... Sometimes, most times, I want to turn to someone. I want someone else to take the wheel while I sleep in the backseat. Perhaps my ideal is the hybrid of the Alpha and the Beta, so that the roles are interchangeable.

Lord, I'm getting depressed now. What do you think, people?
  • For those in relationships, are you the Alpha or the Beta? 
  • For the ladies, do you think adopting the notion that you don't need a man hinders your ability to get a man? 
  • Are women nowadays, pushing men away by not needing them financially and for protection, but more for emotional support? 
  • Are we, as women, asking men to take on what used to be considered female roles?
  • What are we really looking for in a partner?
Comment below and share your thoughts.

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