Sunday Introspection - Who Are You?

8:17 AM

No, really who are you?

For the last couple days, I've been building up to this question. Who am I? I know that it looks like a simple question but I also know that it is a heavy one. One that stumps people, making them stop and really think about it. Sometimes they start the list. You know the list, for instance mine would be I am:
  • A daughter
  • A sister
  • A friend
  • A freelancer
  • A paper pusher
  • ....
This is all well and good, but those are in relation to others or to activities. What happens if you strip them away, who are you? Who are you before others placed labels on you? Who are you before you  took on a profession? Who are you in a crowd of strangers?

After much thought, I've come to the belief that when you have the answer to this heavy question, you have a solid core and no matter what is layered over it, the core remains the same. Don't ask me why, but I'm thinking it's like the earth. When the top layers shift and crack, the core sends up magma to fill the void created. And that magma is rich in minerals. So if our sense of self shifts, if we lose a job to which our identity is so closely attached, we can fall back on our core identity, recognise that we are not our job but something and someone so much more.

So, who am I? Sometimes people like to throw that question like a right hook or a left jab, "Who do you think you are?", "Ah who she t'ink she be?" Well, to be honest, I don't know but I am working to find out. There are a few things I do know about myself, the kind of things that come from the gut that tells me I am happy or excited about something or that are hardwired into me as I've evolved, they are as follows,
  • I love to dance
  • I love to laugh
  • I love to read
  • I like to travel, not so much reaching the final destination but the actual traveling
  • I find large bodies of water peaceful, I like being out at sea
  • I like to try new things, I am the first of my siblings to eat Sushi and thanks to my Chinese coworkers in New York, I've eaten eel (it tastes fishy)
  • I find peace in writing
  • I love talking with people over good food and wine
  • I am stubborn, that is hardwired
  • I stand firmly on principle even though I am trying to reduce my value judgement
  • I am an idea machine but I am working on being a doer as well as a thinker
  • I am a movie lover
  • I love good sheets, there is something about curling up under a sheet with a certain thread count, or a fluffy duvet on a cold day
  • I love independence, it is something I've always valued but I'm still working out what it truly means
  • I love and fear the silence where all the demons and angels come out to play and the rawness of who I am brings tears to my eyes
A lot of thought leaders (such a funny term) have been spouting the idea that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. And for the most part, I agree but it saddens me that we get so caught up in petty issues, that our humanity is our handicap. What if we were not limited by our fears of what people will say? What if we did amazing things in spite of  our families saying don't do it because they are afraid we would be hurt? What if we became someone who is more than our job titles, our possessions, our relations to others, our hobbies and our capabilities?

What if you knew that from the beginning, be it conception or birth, you knew that you were special, that you mattered, that you can be and do whatever you want without limitations?

What if....

image credit: The Touch

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