If you've read a post I did last week, or if you read the poem, Perfect Man on my other blog, Kim or Lisa, you would know that my grandfather died. One of the sad things is I don't feel any great loss, well not compared to say how my dad felt. You see, we weren't close and he was more like a distant great uncle, you know you're supposed to love them but it doesn't come from a genuine place. It's a matter of duty. (Please note the world duty, because it will be coming back in this post or a later post). The funny thing is a couple nights ago I dreamt that I had passed by one of his properties and there was memorial service and as I was leaving, I was crying. Real tears, but I chided myself because I don't cry.

The other sad thing about my grandfather dying is the family. Oh, not my family, my family is cool, my siblings are boss. What I'm talking about is my dad's siblings and the drama. Let me paint a picture for you. My grandfather (notice no grand daddy or grand pa) was a hard working man, he would have been labeled a hustler and as a result he had property. Property means more than one portion of land. Don't think I'm gloating, I'm not going to front and act that stuff is mine. I didn't work for it so it isn't mine. Between the hardwork of my grandfather and my grandmother (she died before my dad even met my mom), they acquired a lot. Now we introduce the characters of this mad soap.

Dad
First born so he had a lot of work growing up. This includes helping in the upbringing of his siblings, cooking, farming. He later started working at the regional airline as a cleaner and through his own hardwork, he became an aircraft engineer, built apartments, and with my mom opened a few businesses. Let's just say he did well for himself.

Aunt
Lord, where can I begin. Bible toting government worker. You know what I'm going to err on the side of caution.

Uncle
Left the island 30+ years ago, all the while bad talking his family every chance he could and upon hearing Grandfather was dying he found his way back to Antigua. Damn shame is all I got to say. Can you imagine the man was quoting the Godfather, saying how family is important. Now if I was to even add all the other dirt on this man, mmm mmm.

The Ex-Wife
Grandfather had remarried, it was a Spring - Autumn thing. Well they cause each other grief but that was their problem. Two years ago, she filed divorce procedures, and early this year, through much back and forth she got a portion of land and a house or two. She wanted the house, my grandmother's house.

The Ex-Wife's Daughters
One is loved by my Grandfather, but she treats him like crap and the other is... She doesn't have kind words for him and has assaulted him on at least one occasion.

Now Grandfather is buried in a tomb just above grandmother, and the siblings want to know when the will be read. A week has not passed and almost all the above characters have been calling my Dad, when the will be read. My Dad is the Executor of the will. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that none of my father's siblings have done as much as my father and grandfather have done in their lives. Now they want to scoop up all that he has worked for and still hate him. I don't know what is in your book, but in my book, that isn't right.

I mention all of that because it made me take a good look at my life and see the lessons to be learned from this situation. It made me re-evaluate the importance of acquiring property. Now, I know my siblings aren't going to be like that, we've said it many times to each other that we're not going to fight for what our parents own. But you know what it is as well, it's a trap for affection, think about it. The promise of getting something forces one to treat the person nice, to do everything to appease the person.

Maybe I'm transcending to something more profound when I've accepted that I would settle for a nice home, enough income and the desire for great experiences with great people. Experiences can range from enjoyable ones to those that may seem difficult but really lets you grow as an individual. I don't want to be a slave to my possessions, working to buy them, to protect them, to insure them and then they either break, get stolen or I die and those you leave behind act like fools trying to own it.

I mean wouldn't it be nice to be lying on your death bed and knowing that you've lived a full life and that you've given your children the knowledge to provide for themselves, live a life of their choosing and are good to others. I like that idea. I know I've said stuff in the past and never came through with them, so I'm keeping my future plans close to my chest, but I'm looking to be living life they way I want.